Making room for a new portrait on my dining room wall

Life has gone by faster than expected.

Last night I met with my daughter Erin and her fiance Abbott for their last premarital counseling session. Their wedding day is just a week from this coming Saturday. We made some final plans for the wedding. And believe it or not we discussed what God’s Word says about intimacy between a husband and a wife.

Imagine me sitting in my dining room with these two, reading selections from Song of Solomon and 1 Corinthians. I had them read aloud the passages that describe the feelings that a man has for his wife and vice versa. I told them that sex was designed by God to make the two become one. I told them that it was a gift only to be opened after a wedding. I told them that it was for consummation, procreation, and recreation. I told them it was only for those who make a life long commitment to one another.

Afterwards, I asked if they had any questions. They didn’t.

Erin said, “Nope.”

Abbott cleared his throat and said, “No sir.”

I suppose it is a bit uncomfortable for a daughter and even harder for a future son-in-law to have such a discussion.  But I was doing my job as a pastor and as a father. Besides, they asked me to do the wedding. So, they got the wedding along with all six premarital sessions, two books to read, one workbook, and much homework.

The way I see it, I’m not in the wedding business. I’m in the marriage business. Sure, we have to plan a ceremony, but I’m more interested in planning and preparing couples for a lifelong commitment together. The main thing I try to teach them is to love Jesus with priority and He will keep their marriage strong.

All three of my children have honored me by asking me to perform their weddings. With Erin we’ve had to work out how I’m supposed to both be the father who gives her away and the pastor who officiates.

I think we’ve got it worked out on paper. I’m just not so sure we have it worked out in my heart yet.

The photo above was taken in my dining room during the Christmas holidays. Our dining room wall is covered with family portraits, but I was surprised to see the old black and white on the wall behind Abbott and Erin so clearly. The portrait is of me at three along with my mother and father. Both of them have gone on to be with the Lord. As for me, well, I’m not three anymore.

And neither is Erin. I remember when she was three. Her portrait at three is also hanging on my dining room wall. But now she’s getting married.

I suppose we’ll have to make room on the dining room wall for a new portrait.